Young Love Counts

Whenever I tell people Matt and I have been together for 11 years (12 years in August) I always get the response that our early years ‘don’t count’ – ‘you were only 15 and didn’t know what love was’ – if we had of been dating later in life the 11 years would be ‘different’ or ‘count’ more.

I have a problem with this.

Why does love not count in the early years? Why does it matter what age you are? Love is love and if young love is SO easy why are so many people NOT with their high school sweethearts?

In fact I think young love is harder – we survived our crazed hormonal school years where backyard parties were going off and everyone hooked up with everyone, we never got bored of each other – something todays society struggles with – especially when there is instant gratification from online sources such as tinder, snapchat and sneaky social media outlets. (Don’t even get me started on this.)

Did I become Matt’s girlfriend in 2015 with the intent to still be with him 11 years later?


But here we are married and still going strong.

And maybe this is what is wrong with the world, putting so much pressure to find the one and settle one because it’s ‘time’ and you are at the age you SHOULD start to be settling down and having kids and being in a long term committed relationship – not because you’ve found the perfect person but because it’s time.

F*ck that makes sense… (Input sarcastic face)

Maybe those years you are blowing off, as not counting are actually the most important ones, the ones that allow time for you to both grow and bounce off each other to discover who you are and who you want to be.

To share your goals, aspirations and dreams with each other in a safe environment not sharing naked selfies & dickpics with almost strangers because talking about feelings is weird.

Matt & I know each other, the in’s and out’s, we have lived together and apart, we have travelled solo and together, we have our own friends and also mutual friends… We know it is okay to be alone but we also know it is x10 better being together.

We are obsessed with each other but not obsessive.

He knows absolutely everything about me and still loves me unconditionally. I wouldn’t say we get bored but like every relationship we get comfortable and rather then seeking attention from other people and sweeping it under the rug we can talk to each other wholeheartedly and always remember to truly date each other not just be with each other.

The small things count.

So perhaps instead of judgement and dismissiveness about age and timing of love maybe try and just accept it?

Because I know I’d choose young love every single time.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

Unhealthy Healthy VS Healthy Unhealthy

I wasted so many years of my life obsessing about what I SHOULD look like that I actually forgot to enjoy who I was.

Back when I was in my late teens/early 20’s I was over training (like 2+ hours a day every day) and under eating – all for what?

From the outside I was considered ‘Fit’ and ‘Healthy’. Yeah sure I was fit as fuck but healthy? I’m not so sure –all I would think about is the food I ate and how I can burn it off, scrolling through ‘fitspo’ social media accounts thinking ‘I want to look like that’

We have all done it and again I ask all for what?? Social acceptance? Will people like me better if I look a certain way? Will I gain more likes? Followers? I know once I look like that I’ll be happy and I’ll love my body and myself. – Right?

BUT just because someone has abs or a thigh gap doesn’t mean they are happy.

Fast-forward to my mid 20’s comp prep was one of the most overwhelming and emotional roller coasters I’d ever been on. Again considered healthy because I was eating ‘clean’ and had a six-pack but was I healthy? I mean I had the ‘ideal’ body that you can only get through strict diet and exercise which means I’m healthy? Right? Missing social functions, crying over food and having my whole life revolve around nothing but what I consumed and when I trained was NOT healthy. Not only that but once I got this ‘ideal’ body I wasn’t f*cking happy either.

There is a common occurrence here and it just drives me crazy – both scenarios I was considered healthy BUT I wasn’t, my mental health was clearly unhealthy.

This overwhelming pressure we put upon ourselves to be ‘healthy’ is just f*cked.

Once I shifted my mindset to loving training and the way it made me feel (not the way it made me look) is when my world shifted, my body (in my eyes) changed – it become what I was always looking for – confidence emerged – I stood up taller, felt stronger and finally mentally and physically healthy.

I’m the worlds biggest sweet tooth so when I want something sweet I’ll eat it… that’s considered ‘unhealthy’ and ‘bad’ but I the fact that I no longer obsess about it, try and burn it off or stop eating to ‘make up for it’ in my eyes is in fact healthy.

So I’ll have my cake and eat it too, without even battering my eyelids.

The social image of healthy needs to change because it isn’t what it seems and it is setting the wrong imagine in our brains, especially when we see it over and over and over again.

I’m a personal trainer – I love chocolate, Thai food and pizza. I love going out & getting pissed with my friends with guaranteed dancing until all hours of the morning. I’m not a morning person. I don’t wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed then go for a run then eat my acai bowl. I usually wake up run to the toilet then make my vegemite and avocado muffin looking like Hagrid. I love lifting heavy weights and pilates. I hate cardio but do it (occasionally) because I love sweating and the vibes I feel afterwards. I have days where I just don’t want to human and days where I absolutely crush sh*t. I’m real, honest and happy but most importantly confident in myself and the way I look. I don’t feel the need to hide who I am as a person and portray myself as someone I’m not just to have the label of what’s socially seen and accepted as ‘healthy’.

We shouldn’t feel bad because we don’t have a flat stomach, eat ‘paleo’ or ‘clean’ 100% of the time.

The only thing that matters at the end of the day is that you f*cking love yourself.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

White Jeans & Ulcerative Colitis -Traveling With UC.

AS you know my UC flare was kept at bay – I was only having issues first thing in the AM.

Traveling to the states made me slightly nervous but I refused to let this bowel disease stop me from something I do and love so much – TRAVEL!

Our flight was 9am in the morning – arriving at the airport 3 hours before. I knew this was prime time for toilet stops and my UC didn’t disappoint. Driving through Taylors Hill my gut rumbles and makes this dropping sensation.

Here we bloody go.

I knew there was a Maccas coming up – I give Matt warning to pull a U turn at the next set of light to get to the Maccas that was on the other side of a main road. The lights seemed to take forever, and ever. At Green, me leaning over in agony trying not to let UC win I urge Matt to go fasterthe poor thing just what you need at 6am a crazy wife yelling at you, we get to Maccas I run and make it. Thank.f*ck.

Although I haven’t eaten McDonalds since 2013 I’ve recently been in them nearly every car outing – they may have shit food but they have stopped me from shitting myself a bulk load of times so I’m actually super thankful there is so many of them!!

Fast forward to check in – something I’ve thought about – a 15 hour red eye flight and a NON isle seat – ehhhhhhh wouldn’t of thought so. I ask for an isle seat and also got upgraded to premium economy so I got to sit with Matt, both things a win. I love the window seat though so this sucks.

The 15 hour flight my gut behaved, again because I know I’m so food triggered I thought ahead, (like with the isle seat ) I had pre selected that I was vegan for the in flight meals – thinking it was a safer option. I ate one of 3 meals – I’m weird with plane food anyways and when a couple of them had beans and trigger foods I opted against it. I had garbage guts next to me who was more then happy to finish off what I didn’t.

America – USA – the known land of unhealthy, fatty foods and well it didn’t disappoint.

I fasted nearly every morning just so I didn’t have to think about breakfast and so I was in the room for breakfast time while my UC was at it worst. One particular day we were both up and decided to head out for breaky in peak UC time, already an ambitious idea, as was wearing white jeans.

I only select restaurants with toilets – this one had one, perfect lets get breaky burritos, I’ll order then go to the loo.

There was a lady in front of me taking forever and the urge hitting in really f*cking quick, that’s okay I’ll go the toilet first then come back and order. The toilet needed a token – I go into panic mode knowing full well my stomach can’t hold on for much longer – I got back to the desk and excuse myself as I interrupt and ask for a token then rush back to the toilet – figuring out the dumb token door was a nightmare and left me a little to late, in white jeans. Yup. The glamorous life of UC. Defeated I try and clean myself up and make my way back to Matt preying there is no one behind me – he knows by the look on my face. Thankfully we weren’t far from our apartment and my Loui is big as I walked with it covering my butt the whole way home. Great start to the day that was.

That was the worst that happened on the trip but by the end of the week I was really feeling my UC kick in – I wasn’t watching what I was eating – burgers, hotdogs, fries, pizza – you name it I ate it – I’m not letting UC ruin my trip I’ll eat what I want! I was ratshit by the end. My poor tummy.

The flight home there was no isle seat left in economy and I had to upgrade to premium economy – not a bad thing I must admit. The way home I NEEDED that isle seat so I’m glad I made the upgrade– another red eye flight this time my stomach didn’t cope as well. I didn’t eat a thing on the 15 hour flight besides these weird vegan cookies they gave me – wasn’t worth making my tummy any worse. It was gurgling and what felt like a bubbling sensation the whole way home. I never noticed the toilet on a flight before I certainly did on this flight – every time I wanted to use one I guarantee it was lit up as red meaning it was taken. Knowing my UC kicks in super quick this makes me uneasy not having direct access but I coped.

Arriving home my stomach was unsettled for a couple days I just didn’t really eat to give it a bit of a rest, that and I have some mad jet lag (currently writing this at 5am) so don’t really have an appetite.

It seems to be settled now – traveling with UC is hard – there are so many things I never use to worry about and take for granted that almost run my life now. Is there a toilet? Is there a line? Does it flush? Is there toilet paper? Have I packed tissues just in case? Have I been to the toilet yet? (If no be prepped that’ll come while I’m out) Will this food make me sick? What can I eat? Maybe I just won’t eat? Will I be toilet-less and okay? (e.g on tours, long car rides) lots of different and new things but you know what I’m not letting it get me down, I still got to see a beautiful place with the love of my life and for that I’m super grateful.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X