Whenever I tell people Matt and I have been together for 11 years (12 years in August) I always get the response that our early years ‘don’t count’ – ‘you were only 15 and didn’t know what love was’ – if we had of been dating later in life the 11 years would be ‘different’ or ‘count’ more.
I have a problem with this.
Why does love not count in the early years? Why does it matter what age you are? Love is love and if young love is SO easy why are so many people NOT with their high school sweethearts?
In fact I think young love is harder – we survived our crazed hormonal school years where backyard parties were going off and everyone hooked up with everyone, we never got bored of each other – something todays society struggles with – especially when there is instant gratification from online sources such as tinder, snapchat and sneaky social media outlets. (Don’t even get me started on this.)
Did I become Matt’s girlfriend in 2015 with the intent to still be with him 11 years later?
No – NEVER.
But here we are married and still going strong.
And maybe this is what is wrong with the world, putting so much pressure to find the one and settle one because it’s ‘time’ and you are at the age you SHOULD start to be settling down and having kids and being in a long term committed relationship – not because you’ve found the perfect person but because it’s time.
F*ck that makes sense… (Input sarcastic face)
Maybe those years you are blowing off, as not counting are actually the most important ones, the ones that allow time for you to both grow and bounce off each other to discover who you are and who you want to be.
To share your goals, aspirations and dreams with each other in a safe environment not sharing naked selfies & dickpics with almost strangers because talking about feelings is weird.
Matt & I know each other, the in’s and out’s, we have lived together and apart, we have travelled solo and together, we have our own friends and also mutual friends… We know it is okay to be alone but we also know it is x10 better being together.
We are obsessed with each other but not obsessive.
He knows absolutely everything about me and still loves me unconditionally. I wouldn’t say we get bored but like every relationship we get comfortable and rather then seeking attention from other people and sweeping it under the rug we can talk to each other wholeheartedly and always remember to truly date each other not just be with each other.
The small things count.
So perhaps instead of judgement and dismissiveness about age and timing of love maybe try and just accept it?
Because I know I’d choose young love every single time.
Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X
talkingwithtel 