First comes love, second comes marriage, third comes a European trip in the business class carriage…

We have all heard the saying…..

‘First comes love, second comes marriage, and third comes a baby in the carriage’….

Well, according to these set in stone guidelines and as people keep reminding me I’m up to a ‘baby in a carriage’….

But before we get to that lets rewind a little bit say when you’re in high school.

You image what the rest of your life will be like – ya’ know the usual – go to uni until you’re 18- 24 years old – meet the man of your dreams somewhere in that time– stop following your dreams – fall in love – settle down – get married at 25 – have a baby straight away – be a mum….

That’s what destiny has for us.

This is what we are brought up to know.

That’s what society says we should do.

And that’s where we run into a problem.

It’s all a crock of crap.

We need to stop feeding this stereotype because as soon as we don’t follow this order we instantly get judged.

OMG – they are having a baby before marriage – it MUST have been an accident.

OMG – I can’t believe she’s already back at work after giving birth. She obviously doesn’t love her family enough.

OMG – they only have one child? Why haven’t they had another one? Must be having marriage issues.

OR what I have been copping recently and straight after the wedding ‘So when are you going to have a baby?’

Like, because I’m married now my vagina is open game for conversation.

Sorry I didn’t realised my sex life was on the table for discussion…

Luckily I’m an open book so while we are at it would you also like to know when I’m ovulating and wether I’m on top while having sex?

What if I’m actually trying to conceive and I’m having problems like so many women are?

What if I’ve fallen pregnant and I lost the baby in the early days like so many women have?

What if every time you ask I cringe inside because I don’t want kids like so many women do?


We live in a modern day society where females are now working just as hard as the men, they are now encouraged to follow their dreams and live their own life not just used as a baby-making machine.

Which I think is fan-fucking-tastic.

And that’s the way I live by – I want to live MY life to the fullest. If I had of had a baby straight after getting married I wouldn’t have been able to finish the renovations to my house, I wouldn’t have been able to go business class, I wouldn’t have been able to go o/s whenever I wanted, I wouldn’t have been able to work on my business. I’m not saying I’ll never have a baby I’m saying I’ll do it when I’M ready not when society thinks I’m of age and ready to.

Some people may call this selfish but I don’t give AF. You get one life and I will live it how I want to – as should you….

Want to have a baby pre marriage? Good for you GF – hell never get married – they are expensive AND stressful.

Want to get married and settle down with a baby straight away? Fuck yeah go ahead, you’ll be a great mum!

Want to travel the world and follow your dreams? Yassss girl I feel you!!!

Whichever way you want to live your life is totally fine – do not let ignorant people make you feel shitty for your life decisions AND don’t judge others how they choose to live THEIR life because you don’t know their circumstances. 

Now excuse me while I go book another European adventure and enjoy my sleep in tomorrow….

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

2 thoughts on “First comes love, second comes marriage, third comes a European trip in the business class carriage…

  1. Tel, I had Soraya in my thirties. Wouldn’t change a thing. In saying that I encourage her to take on the world and travel and enjoy life (once she’s completed Year 12)


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