And Now You Are Gone: Our Miscarriage Story…

Here I am 3am 21stJuly, tears uncontrollably steaming down my face.

Why us?

We are a young, fit, healthy people.

Could I have done anything differently? Is it my fault? Why couldn’t we keep you? Why does it hurt so much?

28 years old and I know miscarriage is something that happens but I’ve never knew it’s something I would have to deal with.

Yesterday we went in at 1pm to see you for the very first time, we had been keeping track of what you looked like via google although not much like a baby just yet you were definitely starting to form and were the size of a blueberry, we had been calling you Little Blueberry Prince all week. We were so fucking excited to see our little blueberry – to see a heartbeat and know everything was okay in there, that I was giving you a good little home until March.

It was supposed to be a happy day, we were so uncontrollably happy!

Laying on the ultrasound bed the man asks us if it’s our first and jokingly tell us to enjoy our time as we are about to get very busy.

Then his humour sense changed, he asked me when then first day of my last period was – which I knew – I was logging everything. He said there was a pregnancy but measuring 2 weeks behind where it should be and then basically “come back in 2-3 weeks, sorry there is anything we could see today, goodbye”

No conversation of how big the baby should be, what the fuck is going on or what the fuck to do.

We said we were first time parents – you can obviously see how confused we are – give us something – anything.

We left the ultrasound clinic quiet. I was emotional. I cried the whole way home from Werribee, this isn’t right, it was supposed to be a happy day we were getting photos of Little Prince to surprise my Mum, we were supposed to see a heartbeat then celebrate and get burritos, I’d planned to have the night off work to celebrate finally being able to see a heartbeat and labelling this as real.

Now I’m sitting here feeling sad, with a hot water bottle on my belly to help with the intense cramping and toilet paper down my pants because I couldn’t leave the house to buy pads last night. I’m broken.

Since finding out about this pregnancy my mind had always reverted back to miscarriage, I was nervous about it, looking up online what the percentage was of it happening, Matt reassured me we’ll be fine but I was holding off excitement until I saw Little Prince inside of me. I thought I was just being super paranoid, you know thinking of the worst-case scenario. In saying this I still was looking at prams and have a whole Pintrest album dedicated to maternity clothes, what to buy, info to know and nursery inspirations. I started to let my guard down at 6-7 weeks, excitement was in full swing and my Pintrest board was growing at a rapid rate.

Once we got home from the Ultrasound clinic Matt & I had a lay down in bed – trying to convince ourselves that maybe that ultrasound was fine and we have the dates a little muddled.  Laying there both feeling down, yet trying to stay optimistic we both fell asleep – I had mild stomach cramps but I thought it might have been UC cramping or I was just hungry because it was about 2pm and I hadn’t eaten lunch yet not what was about to come next.

The cramping got progressively worse and different to UC – I got up to go to the toilet and there it was blood, large amounts of clotted blood, I broke down instantly.

This was it.

We had lost our baby.

The same place I found out about you, the same place I found out we lost you.

Wildly checking each clot to see if a tiny Little Blueberry Prince could be seen.

I get off the toilet pull myself together as much as I could, I now have to break it to Matt, fuck this isn’t fucking fair.

In the hallway he hugs me – I really break down now – we really breakdown now – so defeated we go back to the bedroom and lay there in silence just holding each other. There were no words for it.

What do you even say? I felt worse for the few people we had told whom were also so excited for us today we now have to tell them what has happened – I don’t deal with sympathy well.

What do you even do?? Do I let it run its course? Go to the Dr? I had to use Google to find out – no one tells you this stuff, this is all new ground and we have no idea what the fuck was going on, all we knew is that we had zero control over what was happening right now and that is something we find hard to deal with.

Mum messaged me – “Hey you home?” I didn’t want to see anyone but if there was one person I wanted to see and tell then and there it was her, Mum’s intuition huh coming around at the most perfect time to pick us up when we were at our most vulnerable.

She walked through the door and I just broke down again, she was concerned she hadn’t known about anything – we were waiting for the photos we were supposed to get today.

I got the words out about what had happened, she hugged me harder.

She always knows what to do and say. We both felt better having her around and hearing her advice on what to do next and even have her distract us for a bit.

She suggested to go back to the Dr, explain what has happened and she’ll give you the next step wether to let it run its course or if you go in for an operation to clear everything out properly.

After dinner she left, both Matt and I had zero energy. The day couldn’t of gone any worse.

The cramping intensified, it was really bad now, I had to lay on the floor in the foetal position, going through the emotional roller coaster apparently wasn’t enough, lets add pain so bad it’ll leave you with no choice but to curl in a ball and cry hoping that it’ll all pass soon.

Trying to remain in somewhat of an optimistic headspace I thought to myself – ‘I can’t lay here like this, just get up, what are you doing? Look at you on the floor, get up, you’ve got this.’

And I just couldn’t – I was bet.

As the pain grew more and more I was force to work up the courage to attempt different yoga positions to help ease the pain a little bit which actually did work – it worked enough I was able to stand up and walk myself back down to the lounge room and take some more Nurofen. Matt got me a hot water bottle which also helped ease the pain – he is so amazing.

We spent the next couple hours laying on the couch watching shitty TV to distract us from an absolute horrible and unfair day. We’d occasionally get words out like “we’ll be okay” and “I love you” but overall it was just hugging supportive silence.

9:30pm Matt put fresh hot water in my hot water bottle and off to bed we went.

I couldn’t lay there in the dark, my mind would just tick – we put a movie on again to distract us from what was a blurred and surreal reality until we finally fell asleep holding each others hand. We didn’t have to say anything we just knew that having the comfort and support of one another was all we needed.

And now I’m here – sitting in the dark unable to sleep I needed to get everything down in words so it would stop playing over, again and again in my head – it is now 3:51am.

I think to myself, how am I supposed to face everyone tomorrow, even the next day and pretend to be happy? They have no idea how much I’m hurting inside – no idea about what rollercoaster that had just occurred and I just show up and pretend everything is okay? Like nothing happened? Just continue on with my life?

Maybe that’s what’s wrong? We don’t talk about these things; we deal with them in silence knowing eventually time will heal all.

Not only was this a complete shock and new experience for us but we had no idea what to do – there is no guidance, no where to go and procedure to follow.

We felt so alone even tho I know miscarriage happens to every 1 in 4 women. (Thanks to Google)

If it is a relatively common occurrence why aren’t more people talking about it?

What do all the other women do? Feel isolate, alone and hollow just like me?

Expected just to get back to normal life? Not talk about it?

If this has happened to you, you are not alone – I don’t know why the universe does these things, it is unfair to feel so many emotions in such little time – extreme highs to extreme lows.

As Matt kept saying at least we know we can fall pregnant. When the time is right we will try again, not without worry, caution or concern but as long as we have each other we know we will be okay.

I’m hoping that in reading this you will be aware, know that support is out there don’t be afraid to reach out for it, people don’t know what they don’t know, it doesn’t have to be kept a secret because 1 in 4 chances are the people you are hiding it from have gone through the exact same situation and can give you the support and guidance you need.

You just need to know:

You aren’t alone, this isn’t your fault, and you will get back up but for now feel the emotions that are running through you, do not pass them off and sweep them under the rug, feel them whole heartedly it is okay to hurt.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

5 Reasons Why You ALWAYS Fail.  

As winter begins (hopefully) to start to fade away we begin to become a little more inspired and motivated – a completely natural thing I see each year within the fitness industry.

As you get out of your winter rut and start planning and goal setting I see common trends happen every single year that I want to highlight to stop you from making these same mistakes and to stop self-sabotaging your results!

When you sit down and plan your little heart out about all the amazing things you are going to achieve this spring and summer, it’s only naturally to feel a sense of excitement and motivation – you are READY!!!

Wether it be get to X amount of training sessions OR loose X amount of weight OR run X amount of km’s – whatever it is you want to achieve in the beginning there is no stopping you.

You know exactly what you want and when you want it by.

The problem is women tend to make these 5 mistakes whilst on their journey, I’ve listed them below in hopes that you can recognise and learn from them to help you achieve great things this summer….

HERE ARE 5 COMMON MISTAKES I SEE THAT SET WOMEN BACK FROM REACHING THEIR GOALS:

1) YOU ARE NOT PREPARED – I mean you are organised but that’s a totally different ball game – writing a list is different to getting the things on the list done.  Being organised means writing a shopping list and all your meals for the week, being prepared means going out to the shops and buying the things on this list, then coming home and preparing as much as you can for the week ahead. Lists are easy – setting out and hitting everything on the list is hard and what really matters at the end of the day. The more prepared you are the less room you have to fail. If you have your food ready to grab first thing in the morning that will stop you from buying shit for lunch.

2) FAIL TO CELEBRATE THE SMALL WINS – You ate amazing, hit all your training session and you feel so bloody good BUT the scales say you only lost .500g this week – I know I’ve been here and it is disheartening, it hurts – all that effort and a measly 500g is all that comes off – this isn’t the way you should be thinking. If your goal is to loose weight this is a win, if you keep this up for 12 weeks that is 6kgs down!  Plus think about how good you are feeling and all the other amazing efforts you did this week that you wouldn’t of usually of done. Learn to celebrate these wins because they are what will get you to the finish line!

3) BECOME OVERWHELMED – One week goes by and you realise still how far you have to go – it gets overwhelming and seems impossible so you just want to quit. Rather then looking at things day by day you look at the big picture and that big picture can sometimes seems impossible. It isn’t. You just have to look at it a little different, rather then saying okay I have to hit 40 training sessions in 12 weeks break it down smaller, into a week by week basis. If you hit these small targets of 4 sessions a week it will get you to the big outcome. 4 sessions doesn’t seem as daunting as 40! The same goes for weight loss – wanting to loose 10kgs in 12 weeks rather then looking at the bigger numbers of 10kg and 12 weeks break it down to smaller wins – .850g per week is all you have to aim for.
Lay brick by brick and eventually you will have a wall.

4) WHO YOU HANG WITH MATTERS – Sadly not everyone wants to see you win. More times then not they are actually ready and expecting you to fail and will do anything in their power to have that happen, maybe not directly, it might be a comment here or there or a “C’mon one chocolate won’t hurt” OR “Just miss the gym this once.” OR “Why are you even doing this?” OR “You’re addicted to fitness” OR “Don’t loose anymore weight” – trust me I could go on and on forever and you girls cop it from so-called ‘friends’. You don’t want or need negative people trying to sabotage you- choose whom you hang out with wisely because they influence you more then you know.

5) IT WILL BE HARD – Most goals you set out to do are not going to be easy. Some days you will crush it and the next you will not want to get out of bed to train and will want to eat everything in sight. If reaching goals were easy we wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic on our hands. When things get hard it is okay, step back take a breath and remember WHY you started. If you have a hard day and you miss training or eat terribly – it is okay, it is human! Know from the beginning that this will happen, one bad day wont ruin your results just as one good day one get you to the end results either.

If there is anything you can take out of all of this is to not over complicate things.

Be realistic, prepared and keep it simple, do the same daily good habits over and over – this will lead to the end goal.

You don’t need fancy supplements, magic potions, crazy workouts, ridiculous diets or heath food fads – do the simply shit consistently and I guarantee you will get there!

I believe in you.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

When darkness hits…

Someone messaged me the other day and said “How do you stay so positive and happy all the time”

At first sure it’s a complement, then I felt sad that I portray a life of constant happiness, my life isn’t perfect – its pretty f*cking great but negative sh*t gets thrown my way (more common then not at the moment) that leaves me in a dark, depressive place.

My role as a coach is to encourage, lead and inspire people but it is never to be fake with people – I’ll never pretend that I’m a cardio loving, kale eating, always happy AF person because I’m simply not!

I get grumpy, I get sad, I get depressed – I feel all emotions everyone else feels –  the only difference is I’m in tune with what I’m feeling and accept it, know it is only for brief period of time and try to learn something from it – the good old quote “it’s a bad day, not a bad life” hits it perfectly.

It’s been a strange few years, although each year I’m growing and learning more and more about myself, who I truly am and what I was destined for, I’m also hitting hard resistance and set backs that try and pull me into dark places.

I think everyone faces these resistances, these depressive states, tho we may not talk about them as openly as I talk about mine, this is why I write, as someone who is/was a chronic “bottler” who hates talking about emotions and feelings – writing them gives me a sense of freedom, to lead people to know dark places exist for everyone and it is okay to feel and explore them but know you are never isolated and stuck in them, that the light at the end is always within reach.

So what do I do when resistance and dark thoughts hit?

1) Allow the darkness to wave over you but do not allow it to overwhelm you. Realise that every single person experiences the darkness, to feel emotions (although not portrayed on social media) such as sadness; depression and isolation are extremely normal. They are emotions, just like being happy – it is completely okay to feel them, to be down. What you do need to realise tho is these states don’t have to last forever – sure take your time to process the situation that has happened but then ensure you learn a positive from it. There is ALWAYS a positive to a negative – that is something I’m a firm believer of.  If you don’t take the time to process situations properly and continue to push them down like nothing has happened they will only keep coming back up – so it’s best to take the time to get in tune with your body.

2) Write down 3 things you’re grateful for – your list of negatives tend to stack up and the pile looks so big that you can hardly focus on anything else but it is important to redirect that focus – there are beautiful things happening around you – wether it is a loving partner, family, friends, roof over your head, animals just take the time to appreciate the small things you have.

3) Talk –  not always as easy as it seems, but having just that one person you can open up to will make the world of difference, in the beginning it may be scary but afterwards you’ll feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders – this may always be a different person depending on the topic. If you know someone has had a similar experience you may want to open up to them because they will understand what you’re going through a little better.

4) Walk, everyday – wether it be 20 minutes or an hour – even if you don’t want to – I use to walk listening to music or podcast but I’d get so overwhelmed with noise that it all just became white noise – I started listening to nothing. I’d allow thoughts to come to my mind; I’d process them, as need be then tune into nature, the birds, and the wind – feeling the sun and cool breeze on your face instantly lifts your mood.

5) Meditate – seems like a hippy thing to do, I felt the same way – but when feeling overwhelmed and my mind keeps racing a guided meditation helps me re centre and helps me dissolve away any excess tension I may be holding. I use the app ‘Calm’.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

Why CLEAN Treats Make You GAIN Weight….

WHAT?!?! BUT IT’S CLEAN!?!

Surely the heading is some sort of typo….

Nope, sorry ladies!!

After helping 100’s of women with their diets it comes up too often.

“Tel, I’m eating really well but my body just isn’t changing”

This usually mean they are doing one of two things:

Either a) the client isn’t eating enough in general and basically starving themselves rather then fuelling the body at the correct times with the correct foods

OR

b) they ARE eating really well but their thought to be ‘healthy’ snacks are holding them back.

The ‘good’ ‘clean’ snack foods aren’t always that great if you want to drop a bit of weight, lean out or tone up.

OMG TEL AM I EATING THE RIGHT SNACK FOODS?!?!?

Deep breath girl read on…..

I see a lot of women who nail their main meals, a great combination of greens, fats, proteins and carbs! #NAILEDIT

And like with all women we have a cheeky little soft spot for sweets and delish goodies – WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL. BUT the problem arises when we try to fill a sugar-craving void for a ‘healthier’ ‘cleaner’ version of the snack.

Which sometimes we forget are just as, if not MORE calorie dense then your original options.

Let’s take nuts for an example a SUPER common ‘healthy’ snack – and this is true they are indeed healthy but did you know x10 almonds is considered as snack?? (70 calories about the same as chocolate freddo)

WHO STOPS AT 10 ALMONDS?!?!?!?

Not many people we usually go for a handful, which is nearly 200 calories! (nearly 3 freddos –  I know which one I’d rather)

Obviously yes the nuts do have more nutritional value, vitamins etc then a freddo – BUT if your goal is to drop weight you need to be super mindful the quantities of these healthy snack foods you are eating.

Same goes when we are making our own treats such as raw slices, banana muffins, protein balls – these are ALL very calories dense and you will not find many recipes where the calories are under 100 per serve. (which is scary because I know I never eat just one!) By eating these you make it VERY hard for yourself to loose weight.

SO WHAT SHOULD I BE SNACKING ON?

You want food that has more bang for it’s buck, one protein ball would never fill me – maybe 3 would (BOOM there is 450 calories right there) – so you want foods that are low in calories but high in volume. You’ll more then likely be having x2 snacks per day and you want them to be aiming for around 100 calories per snack time.

MY GO TO SNACKS ARE:

-Carrot sticks (41 calories in a carrot)
-Cobs Pop corn single serve packets (63 calories per packet)
-Rice Cakes salt and vinegar are delish (28 calories per rice cake)
-Can of Tuna in Spring Water (81 calories per tan)
-Small banana (90 calories)

AND if I’m feeling like I want a freddo or chocolate I’LL HAVE IT! (at 80-120 calories)

The key is just not to over complicate your diet – you DON’T need fancy snacks, with ingredients that cost an arm and a leg – keep it simple because it’s maintainable AND IT WORKS!!

Just because something is labelled as ‘CLEAN’ ‘RAW’ ‘NO FAT’ ‘NO SUGAR’ ‘HIGH PROTEIN’ doesn’t mean it is miracle product you can eat endless amounts of.

So if you find you’re eating really well and still not getting the results you want just have a closer look at your snack foods – are you over consuming calories dense foods that are holding you back??

If so no biggie sub if for something in my list from above and watch your results start to happen!

Remember this is what I have found has worked for me and my clients – if you have ANY food intolerances, special needs contact a nutritionist.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

If you died tomorrow…

Life is weird.

Our thoughts are weird.

Humans are weird.

We are put onto this planet, go to school, get a job, work – a whole heap of shit happens between – then we die.

As a summary this so bizarre.

And in the hindsight it is such a short amount of time.

In this short amount of time how much emphasis do you put on irrelevant things?

Like wether you have the latest fashion, how much you weigh, what people thing of you, stressing about things out of your control or stressing about made up scenarios in your head?

And in this short amount of time how much emphases do you put on ‘I wish’ rather then being grateful for the things you have?

Saying, “I wish I looked like that” rather then being grateful for being alive at all.
Or
“I wish I had more money” when you could be appreciating the roof over your head.

I’m guilty of this, I think we all are – it is so easy to get caught up in it all – the trends, the hype, the highlight reels, the guilt, the “I wish” way of thinking or stressing.

In this short amount of time we have on this big ‘ol Earth shouldn’t we spend it striving to make a real positive impact rather then keeping up with the Jones?

We have the power to follow our passions, be our true self – yet it is so easy to settle for what we think we deserve in life rather then going out and getting what we actually deserve because the fear of failing and the fear of what people may think hold us back.

These two fears are made up scenarios in our mind.

Think of it this way, if you were to die tomorrow would you be completely content with what you have achieved?

And with that in mind remember this is your life. If you answered no to the above you are the only person who can change that, what is holding you back??

Reality? Or your false beliefs?

Now imagine a life where you didn’t stress about what people thought of you, you were just your true self and had absolutely no fear of failing – what would happen?

It’s scary right – you know they would judge you – but the funny thing is they wouldn’t.

We get so anxious all the time about what people will think, how they will react and what they will do that we supress out own feelings and emotions as it just seems easier and we gain acceptance.

We literally change who we to impress others.

Yet I feel like if you have to supress and hide your true self because you are afraid of what people will think you are hanging out with the wrong people.

Think about the way you act in front of your Mum – that’s the real you.

Would it be so bad if that’s what the world saw?

Hell no because we are all the f*cking same, we all struggle, we all experience bad, we all do weird shit, we all cry, we all get hurt and we all go through the rat race.

Life isn’t perfect and we don’t need to make it out to be – act human, be yourself, stop and address the made up thoughts in your head that are holding you back, appreciate what you have and always strive for what you truly deserve because life is short and you don’t want to leave with any regrets.

What can you change right now to impact your life in a positive way?

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

‘300 Rep Challenge’ I Challenge YOU!

Bit of a different blog today – more of a content inner circle of RF & #TELSTRIBE post….

I challenged my girls last Wednesday/Thursday – after my tribes strength component of training we always finish with a what I call #hardio finisher – this keeps our fitness in check, works any weaker muscles that need reps in them and burns some serious calories.

I know cardio can be a killah – burpees are not fun and circuits are boring – so by creating little goals for my tribe it takes the focus off ‘cardio’ and on a set target.

I guess it’s like negotiation with your body to do exercises you know will gas you the fuck out but also have in your mind that you want to hit a certain target so you do it anyways.

Resulting in sweat, endorphins and a rig that is ridic. (with the help from strength and pilates to of course.)

The challenge I gave my tribe (and I’m now giving you lovely ladies for your next gym sesh) was a ‘300 Rep Challenge’…

Sounds scary – DW read on.

Their goal (and now your goal) was to complete 300 repetitions in total of the following 5 exercises:

I didn’t care how they made up their reps meaning if they hated running they didn’t have to do any running – if they LOVE pull ups they could just do pull ups the whole time as long as they found the fastest way to reach 300 reps. See 5 exercises below with photo demos.

EXERCISE NO.1: 1 Pull up = 5 reps OR 1 TRX Row = 1 rep


OR//  

EXERCISE NO.2: 60m Sprint = 5 reps (if you are using a treadmill try and hit 60m OR 15 seconds)

EXERCISE NO.3: Bench Hop = 1 rep each time your feet land on the floor 

  

EXERCISE NO.4: High plank to squat = 1 rep each time feet come in


  

EXERCISE NO.5: Front Plank = 5 reps every 30 seconds 

EXAMPLE:

6 sprints = 30 reps
1 minute plank = 10 reps
so you’d be at 40 reps out of 300
Then complete
20 bench hops = 20 reps
5 pull ups = 25 reps
so you’d be at 85 reps out of 300

Using the guide above and the photos to help you distinguish what each exercise is – at your next gym session start your timer on your phone and see how fast you can complete 300 reps.

My Tribes fastest 3 times were:
5.12
5.15
5.22
After this they varied right up to 14 minutes…

5 Minutes of cardio – I ain’t going to argue with that – let me know how you go!

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

Do fit people actually enjoy working out & eating healthy?

Interesting topic isn’t it?

You see so many fitness ‘gurus’ out there now with their amazing bodies, clean eating and awesome lives – they make being ‘fit’ look so easy!!

Do these people actually enjoy the taste of broccoli over the taste of a pizza?

Would they seriously rather be doing cardio then Netflix & chill?

The truth is NO.

Well not in the beginning anyways, when they started their health & fitness journey – it was hard fucking work, breaking the cycle of old habits.

Just like you – having that same old conversation with themselves justifying why they SHOULDN’T go to the gym, or SHOULD eat the dessert someone offered them.

“It’s to cold I’ll just do it tomorrow”

“I’ve eaten good all day one little treat won’t make a difference”

The exact SAME conversations you may be having right now.

And sure they’ve failed – probably heaps.

They’ve snoozed their alarm and eaten a whole bag of chips BUT the only difference between you and that fitness guru is that they refused to give up.

Falling off the wagon isn’t the thing holding you back.

It’s falling off and deciding it’s to bloody hard to get back on so you turn around and start walking back to the start even tho you could of been so close to the finish.

To progress in any way shape or form you need to learn how to fail.

It’s not fun – no one likes failing but my friends it’s a part of life so we might as well embrace it!

Know what it feels like, pick up on where you went wrong so you don’t make that same mistake again and then most importantly…

TRY AGAIN.

What you’ll find is that the more you try & try & try the less often you’ll fail.

I’m not going to say you will never fail because that isn’t true, even the best of the best fail.

The key is to not look at the end destination – that’s way to fucking scary.

You can’t see yourself there – you think it isn’t possible and that you don’t deserve it so you’ll sabotage yourself.

The key is set small daily changes, things so small they almost seem pointless.

Things I’ve added:
-Daily 20minute minimum walk
-Meditate
-Greens drink

These are not ridic expectations of myself – they aren’t x2 5km runs, x1 hike & 2 hour walks everyday, or mediate for one hour or make a smoothie every morning.

They are simple and may seem pointless to some but hitting these small daily targets will..

-Help my muscles recover
-Help get my daily nutrient needs
-Burn calories
-Keep my focused and clear
-Help me sleep

Just to name a few…

Sure sometimes you’ll screw it up – you’re human.

But you NEVER throw in the towel.

I literally get up walk and have my green without even thinking now.

Now write down in your notes section of your phone x3 daily target you wish to hit – remember small targets you can aim to do every day, then each week aim to get 7 tick emojis next to that target.

If you continue to do this you’ll find that you’ll look back and realise how far you’ve come – how natural it is to want good food, how you love the feeling of sweat and your heart racing and the endorphins that fill your body after a workout.

You to will realise that you actually do enjoy being fit & healthy because you now are.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel x

My Marriage is Failing and it’s all My Fault…

My guess is that you clicked on this blog to read about my failing marriage, you’re intrigued and want hear the inside scoop. (Unless you’re my Mum and probably balling her eyes out after reading the heading)

It’s strange isn’t it, why are we so obsessed with other peoples business?

Why when things go wrong for people we tend to love the juicy gossip and are instantly engaged?

It’s like we enjoy the failure of others.

Does it make us feel better?

Maybe?

Does it helps us forget out own lives for a bit?

Perhaps?

Does it helps us feel less alone, people going through the same fucked up shit as us?

Could be?

Or maybe we are just a bunch of arseholes?

If the title of this blog had of been ‘Happiest I’ve ever been’ I guarantee the click rate would be absolutely shit house –  no-one wants to know when you’re doing well, not that many people really care!

Imagine if we put the energy into being more positive to ourselves rather then absorbing the garbage that is propped up in front of our face all the time?

Having amazing conversations about dreams, hopes and goals with amazing people.

Work hard in a career you fully enjoy where you can grow and unleash your full potential, not one where you hate it so much you bitch about Karen who left her coffee cup on the bench in the lunch room without washing it.

I feel like by making these small shifts of positives in our daily lives it will allow us to out grow the people that only want drama, you know the people that drain all the energy from you – the only way to make these shifts is to become more aware of it.

Every time you catch yourself being negative towards a person, situation or thing I want you to be aware of it then instantly think of 2 things you are grateful for.

The world is already filled with enough mean people who want to see you fail – don’t be one of these people – recognise your strengths, be grateful for what you have and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.

Oh & BTW although my husband drives me crazy by leaving his dirty clothes NEXT to the washing basket and continually leaving chewy wrappers in my car and of course dishes on TOP of the sink rather then IN the dishwasher I bloody love him and wouldn’t change him for the world, we are doing amazing things – he is my soul mate and I can’t wait to grow old with him, so sorry to disappoint no failing marriage here ladies! Just a click-bate title to prove a point 😉 

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel x

I found a letter addressed to you…

I originally had this blog titled as ‘Dear Future Daughter’ – then I realised I wasn’t writing to her, I was writing to me…

I was writing to you….

I was writing to all the women out there that have ever feel lost, uncertain and unsure.

You were introduced into world to make an impact.

YES YOU!

There is not a single soul on this entire planet that is exactly like you!

How amazing is that?!?

Each year your age ticks over – this represents new opportunities, new challenges and new growth.

Each day seems no different from the last but when you look back nothing will be the same.

You will never get today back, remember that – you will never get to go back in time – so never hold back, love hard and be true to you.

Do not make changes to your life to suit others over yourself, do not try and please others if it changes you, do not surround yourself with negative people…

invest in yourself.

Know your worth and never settle for anything less.

Don’t dull your light to let others shine – speak up for what you believe in and trust your gut because I guarantee it is right.

The way you look is the exact way you were supposed to look – your body is beautiful and it is entirely yours.

Do not compare yourself to someone else’s idea of perfect.

Your body keeps you here on this planet – with every inhale comes an exhale, your body loves you and it is okay to love it back.

Be kind to yourself, know that some days will be so dark where you will question every move you make, you will tell yourself these negative things in your head but know that they are just that… in your head.

It will pass for you cannot experience good if you do not go through the bad.

Negative things in life will happen we cannot avoid it but it is how we react to these situations that ultimately shapes us.

Do not let these situations hold you back, learn from these experiences.

Pursue your dreams because it is completely possible to turn them into reality – you are capable of anything.

I truly mean that.

Doesn’t mean it will be easy to achieve, you’ll have to work hard but anything you put your energy towards will get you to where you need to be.

Don’t leave this world with any regrets – this is YOUR world and it is so goddamn short so believe in yourself.

Be confident, stand up tall and proud for there is no one exactly like you – you are one of a kind.

It is okay to say ‘no’.

It seems so simple – two letters, one word.

But it can sometimes be the hardest thing to say – and it is okay – your life will be better off if you say no more often.

And vice versa say ‘yes’.

Say yes to situations that will challenge you and force you to grow, by putting yourself out into the world you are allowing opportunities to arise.

Know that although there is no one exactly like you, doesn’t mean no-one understands you.

Find your tribe, your tribe is the people you can be 110% yourself around.

They love you for being you, they will be honest with you as you are with them, you trust them, they encourage and support you and will love you no matter what – don’t let go of these people.

If you surround yourself with people you are not 110% yourself with these are not your true tribe, these people are holding you back.

Lastly,

If you are not happy with your life it is completely up to you to change it and you can.

Don’t settle for mediocre when you were destined for greatness.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

The Truth About Breakfast

Growing up we were always told that breakfast was the most important meal of the day….

but is this really true?

We are also told that if we skip breakfast our metabolism will slow down causing weight gain…

but is this really true?

Consider that most of the research showing that breakfast is important has been sponsored by Kellogg’s and other food manufacturers. That fact casts considerable doubt on the validity of breakfast being important.

Although you may be conscious about your health and opting for granola or a similar cereal because it is deemed as ‘healthy’ may actually be doing you more harm then good! Those type of ‘health foods’ are filled with refined sugars and are basically like eating a bowl of fruit loops!

Have you ever had a filling breakfast only to get to work and feel like you are about to fall asleep and you are hanging for that 10:30am morning tea break to get some more food into you because you are already hungry again – if this is you chances are you aren’t eating the right breakfast.

So let’s go through some big breaky questions shall we….

There is no ONE SIZE FITS all approach here when it comes to what to eat and if you have any specific dietary needs please see your Dr before changing up your diet – this is based on what over the 100’s of women (and men) I have helped over the years have found to be pretty darn accurate….

1) SHOULD YOU EAT BREAKFAST?

I wish I was fancy enough to do one of those cool graphs that asks you questions and you end up on yes OR no – but I am not that tech savvy so you gotta read my bad English to get you through it!

This question is very person and day dependant – each individual is different – some people find having break sets them up for the day and some people find it puts them into a slump and makes them super hungry all day.

WHY?

If you have a BIG breakfast high in refined carbohydrates (say bread by itself, cereal or a muffins) it spikes your insulin levels and we all know what happens then – it crashes not long after, this can be the cause of your out of control hunger for the rest of the day – studies have shown that those that eat a breakfast high in refined carbs will eat up to 200 calories a day MORE then those whom have a low/no carb option.

The question should not be ‘should we eat breakfast’ but more so ‘WHAT should you be eating for breakfast’ – so read on 😉

2) WILL SKIPPING BREAKFAST MAKE MY METABOLISM SLOW DOWN?

NO!!! I want to scream this all day everyday – NO,no, no, no, NO!!! You will not ruin your metabolism by skipping breakfast.

Three things usually happen here…

a) If you SKIP breakfast but find you get hungrier later in the day, or you wake up super hungry – skipping breakfast probably isn’t the right thing for you.

b) If you SKIP breakfast and find you eat your first meal at 10:30am (morning tea) or even lunch BUT you are fine the rest of the day skipping breakfast MAY be okay for you.

 c) If you SKIP breakfast and find you are dizzy, have no energy and cannot concentrate – skipping breakfast probably isn’t the right thing for you.

Either way your metabolism WILL NOT SLOW DOWN!

2) IS FASTING SAFE? AND IS IT FOR ME?

When you skip breakfast this is known as ‘fasting’ simply meaning your body hasn’t been given food for a prolonged period of time.

WHEN TO FAST –

If you wake up and are NOT hungry – give it a shot – ensure your first meal of the day is a nutritious one of proteins and greens.

Fasting can be really great for people who start work super early in the morning – one less thing you have to worry about.

Fasting is also great for those who prefer to have bigger meals later on in the day.

Fasting is also great for those who wish to drop fat due to the cut in calories.

Fasting has MANY benefits but DOES NOT suit everyone.

WHEN NOT TO FAST –

Like mentioned above some people try it and it pushes them to over eat later in the day causing them to crave not so great foods, I wouldn’t recommend fasting for this person.

Another reason NOT to fast would be if you workout first thing in the morning – if you train in the AM you should 110% have post training breakfast that contains protein AND carbs (more on this below). You have just exerted all this energy it now needs to be replaced to help you recover from training and to give you energy throughout the day. If you fail to do this you will not get the fitness results you are after and you’ll more then likely feel like shit!

If you are a guy trying to put ON size loosing a whole meals worth of calories may hurt them gains so just ensure you eat enough later in the day.

3) WHAT SHOULD I HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?

The only time I honestly believe you should have carbs for breakfast is if you trained first thing in the morning.

AFTER training your breakfast SHOULD contain carbs

Not the crappy type tho – if you consume refined carbs for breakfast like talked about above that is when you’ll experience that insulin spike and crash!

Here are some great examples of carb breakfast:

-Protein shake with banana and berries blended with ice and water
-Eggs on grainy toast with avo
-English muffins with egg and lean turkey or even a good cut of bacon
-Oats (plain rolled – no fancy brands) with berries

A NO carb breakfast filled with protein, greens and fats will keep you alert, energised and focused. It will not spike your insulin levels which is what a heavy carb meal can do first thing in the morning leaving you in a slump by 10am. This is a great option for every other morning.

NO carb breakfast?!?! I know weird!!

Here are some great example no carb breakfast:

-Low carb protein shake mixed with water (no banana)
-Omelettes (eggs, spinach, spring onion, tomato, avo)
-Lean turkey with eggs, avo and spinach
-Coffffeeeeeeee – black like my soul of course no double shot, mocha, lattes with skinny almond milk, extra hot, half strength, topped with whipped cream and sprinkles (sorry!) 

Basically eggs are your bestie – and can surprisingly be done in many different ways!

4) CONCLUSION

Ditch the refined carbs, sugars, cereals and granola bars.

Opts for real foods and listen to your body – just because you are in routine doesn’t mean it is right! If you are feeling hungry eat, if you aren’t hungry don’t eat, if you just trained, eat, if you know you’ll binge it later in the day, eat – is all about how YOUR body reacts to different foods and how your body uses them.

You can change up days depending on what you have on – make it suit your lifestyle, goals and activity levels – don’t just eat the next superfood because the media tells us its magic!

What are some changes that you can make starting tomorrow to give you more energy, focus and drive?!?!

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X