Category: FITNESS

F*ck.

I’m done.

Before I start as usual my sh*t may offend you and that’s fine – perhaps stop reading my sh*t?

I’ve been to airports A LOT of them, multiple times. Without hesitation I will always find myself in the bookshops, I enjoy floating around to see what’s out there and usually end up in the business section, I LOVE business and motivation books they really get me pumped and motivated about life – especially ones about mindset and marketing.

Okay Tel you read and enjoy business books – applause for you – how is this offensive?

Well wait for it…..

Every single time I look for a business book written by a FEMALE the titles are always something along the lines of ‘girl boss’ or have the phases ‘girl, she, women’ in the titles along with a tacky photo of a high heels or pink everywhere.

I F*cking hate it.

HATE IT!

I HATE the saying ‘GIRL BOSS’ – Matt actually calls me this simply to get a reaction out of me because he knows how much I can’t stand it!

Uhhhh thinking about it makes me cringe.

Okay before you get your pretty little knickers in a twist let me explain…

I get what the title ‘Girl Boss’ is trying to say – you’re a strong independent women – I get it. We all want to relate to it and use it to empower us and if you are one of those women then that’s bloody great I hope you do succeed and kick life’s ass.

But imagine if we started calling men in business ‘Boy Boss’ – how bloody ridiculous does that sound?

To me, females labelling themselves as ‘Girl Boss’ are only demoralising themselves.

If you’re the boss you are the goddamn boss – why does it matter if you’re female or not? Why must females have to label the fact that they are a female boss? Not just simply the BOSS?

Same as when females are writing a business book why do we feel the need to state our gender in the title or cover it with pink headings and glitter?

Why can’t we simply have a kickarse heading that has nothing to do with our gender?

I think women in business are amazing – I am a woman in business but I refuse to down grade myself to be separate from a man.

I’m not a ‘girl boss’ I’m simply a ‘BOSS’.

Stop down playing your role.

Wake up and kick arse – not because you are a girl but because you are a BOSS.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

1- Do your own thing. We at Royale Fitness have seen it happen time and time again with other places trying to mimic what we do, problem is they just aren’t and never will be good at it!! What we do works because it is us, we love it, we own it, we care and we rock it! If you copy and use others sloppy seconds it won’t work – find something you love, anything and rock the sh*t out of it.

2- Travel. I know travel cost money, you’ve got kids, and it isn’t possible. Well not with that attitude it isn’t. I did read a status one of our kicka** athletes wrote – ‘Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.’ And she couldn’t be more correct.

3- Buy sexy underwear. Well that escalated quickly…. Chuck out your ‘Bridget Jones’ and do your butt a favour… It’s the least you can do for something that’s always got your back. Life is to short for cottontails – I used to work with nursing homes and trust me you’ll spend enough time in them later in life!

4- Compliment. Girls need to stop being b*tches. Jealous isn’t pretty and nasty words will never get you far! Be nice and support each other. Period.

5. Stop watching the news. Seriously – your life will instantly go from a 4 to a 7 if you apply this step.

6. Do something for YOU. Once a week, if not once a month. I’m talking hair, nails, facials, cheeky purchases, and massages – although materialistic you’ll be feeling a million bucks afterwards.

7. Enforce a 2-minute rule. I’ve stolen this one from Matt – something may piss you off…. I can’t believe she did that/said that/told him/showed her blah blah blah bullsh*t. Okay you have 2 minutes to get it out of your system then you are over it. Do not put fuel to a negative fire, nip it in the bud, sh*t happens move on.

8. Train… HARD. Do NOT waste your time walking on a treadmill or doing pointless bootcamps that are NOT personally programmed for your development. Royale Fitness is specifically programmed so you have the power to GO HARD! Sweat, lift, run, jump, smash your PB’s and PROGRESS ALWAYS! If you are not doing this you are wasting you money. (Even if you are only paying $5 per week!)

9. Use all USEFUL information given to you. I know myself I put out a heap of useful information to ALL my girls – when they take it and apply it my god you better go running because they are a force you wouldn’t want to mess with! Why waste good, free resources?

10. Set big goals. Loose weight is NOT a goal. The bigger and more specific the goal the more chance you have of achieving it. Write down your goal and underneath write down WHY? HOW? WHEN? – by answering these questions you have just made a plan on how to achieve your kicka** goal? Still not sure? Lucky you RF members have your awesome trainers to point you in the right direction: P

Are you ready to make a change, not only to your body but to your mind, beliefs and life? Ready to be surrounded by a tribe of badass females? I’ve got good news for yewwww – I have an opening in my Monday/Wednesday 5:30pm Heartcore sessions – this is a rare opportunity as I don’t take girls on often so if you’re ready to stop f*cking around and finally start getting results – shoot me a message and lets get the ball rolling!!!!

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel x

Why is it when we are always on such a roll our motivation slowly starts slipping out the window? By slipping I mean like an ice drop slowly starts to melt and then BANG hits the ground fast and hard.

Like dude, come back, I need you! Please don’t leave me – like the needy wifey I am.

As females we work in waves.

A cycle even.

Hit rock bottom – realise no one will drag our sorry asses out and so we pull our badass self back into the game.

Work the game – hard – full force – ain’t no one gonna mess with us.

See results, feel good – like really good – why the f*ck did we let ourselves hit rock bottom? B*ches I’m fabulous!!!

Get comfortable. More comfy than trackies, Netflix and chocolate on a Sunday.

Slowly start to let old habits kick in – One cheat meal doesn’t matter, I only missed two training sessions this week, my pants defiantly shrunk in the wash, that was a bad camera angle, my scales are out. (Seriously! #denial)

Hit rock bottom – blame events/people but after a while realise it was us. No one to blame but us.

Go back to the top and repeat the process.

Why does this happen? To everyone – I see it all the time – NO I don’t even see it I BLOODY DO IT!

Why is it so hard to stay on top – I just want to dominate the world, eat healthy, continue to grow, learn and become successful, train amazing women to reach their goals, lift weights, have a hot AF body and an awesome social life all whilst keeping my house clean and patting as many dogs as I can along the way… OH and making sure I know when I’m ovulating because the last thing I need right now is a bloody child, wait when was the last time I got my period? Was there dairy in my lunch? Remember I can’t eat dairy because it f*cks me up. Did I reply to those messages? Damn it I have to stop past the super market and get dog food I forgot to feed the dogs last night – will that make me a bad parent? What if I forget to feed my children? Shit I’ve left that load of washing in the machine for two days – did I take my supplements? Maybe I should start meditating more, that might help me sleep better, I wonder why I’m not sleeping? Am I stressed? There are people dying in the world – I’m not stressed. I need to drink more water tho – my pee is so yellow. I should really look after myself better. How long has the heater been turned on for? Our gas bill is going to be so high. I don’t think I’ve washed my hair for a week – did I do the pays this week? Man I’m tried – I must have an iron deficiency, I should really look into that. God damn it I forgot to get toilet paper while I was at the super market. Tissues it is. What did Matt ask me to do again? Sh*t I had ONE job why can’t I remember?!

Sh*t.

There it is.

No wonder my body is like ‘bitch please’ – I feel like I need a nap now just after writing that sentence.

Is your brain bouncing around like a 3 year old child jacked up on red lollies at a birthday party?

Like a 3 year old child jacked up on lollies in a jumping castle that’s about to vomit absolutely everywhere?

YOU ARE ONE PERSON.

Seriously – one person.

It might be a simple thing like ‘eat healthy’ but the reason you fall off the wagon and loose motivation is because to your brain that’s the least fricken important thing right now.

So how do we over come vomit brain and jump out of the vicious cycle?

You know what to be completely honest I’m not entirely sure yet.

What I do know is that what ever you are doing, you’re doing a badass job at it – wether you realise it or not.

DW if you’re at rock bottom right now you’ll come back up – you got this – you don’t need ‘fixing’ you need a trophy for juggling as much as you have, for as long as you did.

It’s a fact of the cycle – you’ll pull yourself out, dust yourself off and put that crown back up on your head, you amazing human you.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

Whenever I tell people Matt and I have been together for 11 years (12 years in August) I always get the response that our early years ‘don’t count’ – ‘you were only 15 and didn’t know what love was’ – if we had of been dating later in life the 11 years would be ‘different’ or ‘count’ more.

I have a problem with this.

Why does love not count in the early years? Why does it matter what age you are? Love is love and if young love is SO easy why are so many people NOT with their high school sweethearts?

In fact I think young love is harder – we survived our crazed hormonal school years where backyard parties were going off and everyone hooked up with everyone, we never got bored of each other – something todays society struggles with – especially when there is instant gratification from online sources such as tinder, snapchat and sneaky social media outlets. (Don’t even get me started on this.)

Did I become Matt’s girlfriend in 2015 with the intent to still be with him 11 years later?

No – NEVER.

But here we are married and still going strong.

And maybe this is what is wrong with the world, putting so much pressure to find the one and settle one because it’s ‘time’ and you are at the age you SHOULD start to be settling down and having kids and being in a long term committed relationship – not because you’ve found the perfect person but because it’s time.

F*ck that makes sense… (Input sarcastic face)

Maybe those years you are blowing off, as not counting are actually the most important ones, the ones that allow time for you to both grow and bounce off each other to discover who you are and who you want to be.

To share your goals, aspirations and dreams with each other in a safe environment not sharing naked selfies & dickpics with almost strangers because talking about feelings is weird.

Matt & I know each other, the in’s and out’s, we have lived together and apart, we have travelled solo and together, we have our own friends and also mutual friends… We know it is okay to be alone but we also know it is x10 better being together.

We are obsessed with each other but not obsessive.

He knows absolutely everything about me and still loves me unconditionally. I wouldn’t say we get bored but like every relationship we get comfortable and rather then seeking attention from other people and sweeping it under the rug we can talk to each other wholeheartedly and always remember to truly date each other not just be with each other.

The small things count.

So perhaps instead of judgement and dismissiveness about age and timing of love maybe try and just accept it?

Because I know I’d choose young love every single time.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

I wasted so many years of my life obsessing about what I SHOULD look like that I actually forgot to enjoy who I was.

Back when I was in my late teens/early 20’s I was over training (like 2+ hours a day every day) and under eating – all for what?

From the outside I was considered ‘Fit’ and ‘Healthy’. Yeah sure I was fit as fuck but healthy? I’m not so sure –all I would think about is the food I ate and how I can burn it off, scrolling through ‘fitspo’ social media accounts thinking ‘I want to look like that’…

We have all done it and again I ask all for what?? Social acceptance? Will people like me better if I look a certain way? Will I gain more likes? Followers? I know once I look like that I’ll be happy and I’ll love my body and myself. – Right?

BUT just because someone has abs or a thigh gap doesn’t mean they are happy.

Fast-forward to my mid 20’s comp prep was one of the most overwhelming and emotional roller coasters I’d ever been on. Again considered healthy because I was eating ‘clean’ and had a six-pack but was I healthy? I mean I had the ‘ideal’ body that you can only get through strict diet and exercise which means I’m healthy? Right? Missing social functions, crying over food and having my whole life revolve around nothing but what I consumed and when I trained was NOT healthy. Not only that but once I got this ‘ideal’ body I wasn’t f*cking happy either.

There is a common occurrence here and it just drives me crazy – both scenarios I was considered healthy BUT I wasn’t, my mental health was clearly unhealthy.

This overwhelming pressure we put upon ourselves to be ‘healthy’ is just f*cked.

Once I shifted my mindset to loving training and the way it made me feel (not the way it made me look) is when my world shifted, my body (in my eyes) changed – it become what I was always looking for – confidence emerged – I stood up taller, felt stronger and finally mentally and physically healthy.

I’m the worlds biggest sweet tooth so when I want something sweet I’ll eat it… that’s considered ‘unhealthy’ and ‘bad’ but I the fact that I no longer obsess about it, try and burn it off or stop eating to ‘make up for it’ in my eyes is in fact healthy.

So I’ll have my cake and eat it too, without even battering my eyelids.

The social image of healthy needs to change because it isn’t what it seems and it is setting the wrong imagine in our brains, especially when we see it over and over and over again.

I’m a personal trainer – I love chocolate, Thai food and pizza. I love going out & getting pissed with my friends with guaranteed dancing until all hours of the morning. I’m not a morning person. I don’t wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed then go for a run then eat my acai bowl. I usually wake up run to the toilet then make my vegemite and avocado muffin looking like Hagrid. I love lifting heavy weights and pilates. I hate cardio but do it (occasionally) because I love sweating and the vibes I feel afterwards. I have days where I just don’t want to human and days where I absolutely crush sh*t. I’m real, honest and happy but most importantly confident in myself and the way I look. I don’t feel the need to hide who I am as a person and portray myself as someone I’m not just to have the label of what’s socially seen and accepted as ‘healthy’.

We shouldn’t feel bad because we don’t have a flat stomach, eat ‘paleo’ or ‘clean’ 100% of the time.

The only thing that matters at the end of the day is that you f*cking love yourself.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X

AS you know my UC flare was kept at bay – I was only having issues first thing in the AM.

Traveling to the states made me slightly nervous but I refused to let this bowel disease stop me from something I do and love so much – TRAVEL!

Our flight was 9am in the morning – arriving at the airport 3 hours before. I knew this was prime time for toilet stops and my UC didn’t disappoint. Driving through Taylors Hill my gut rumbles and makes this dropping sensation.

Here we bloody go.

I knew there was a Maccas coming up – I give Matt warning to pull a U turn at the next set of light to get to the Maccas that was on the other side of a main road. The lights seemed to take forever, and ever. At Green, me leaning over in agony trying not to let UC win I urge Matt to go faster – the poor thing just what you need at 6am a crazy wife yelling at you, we get to Maccas I run and make it. Thank.f*ck.

Although I haven’t eaten McDonalds since 2013 I’ve recently been in them nearly every car outing – they may have shit food but they have stopped me from shitting myself a bulk load of times so I’m actually super thankful there is so many of them!!

Fast forward to check in – something I’ve thought about – a 15 hour red eye flight and a NON isle seat – ehhhhhhh wouldn’t of thought so. I ask for an isle seat and also got upgraded to premium economy so I got to sit with Matt, both things a win. I love the window seat though so this sucks.

The 15 hour flight my gut behaved, again because I know I’m so food triggered I thought ahead, (like with the isle seat ) I had pre selected that I was vegan for the in flight meals – thinking it was a safer option. I ate one of 3 meals – I’m weird with plane food anyways and when a couple of them had beans and trigger foods I opted against it. I had garbage guts next to me who was more then happy to finish off what I didn’t.

America – USA – the known land of unhealthy, fatty foods and well it didn’t disappoint.

I fasted nearly every morning just so I didn’t have to think about breakfast and so I was in the room for breakfast time while my UC was at it worst. One particular day we were both up and decided to head out for breaky in peak UC time, already an ambitious idea, as was wearing white jeans.

I only select restaurants with toilets – this one had one, perfect lets get breaky burritos, I’ll order then go to the loo.

There was a lady in front of me taking forever and the urge hitting in really f*cking quick, that’s okay I’ll go the toilet first then come back and order. The toilet needed a token – I go into panic mode knowing full well my stomach can’t hold on for much longer – I got back to the desk and excuse myself as I interrupt and ask for a token then rush back to the toilet – figuring out the dumb token door was a nightmare and left me a little to late, in white jeans. Yup. The glamorous life of UC. Defeated I try and clean myself up and make my way back to Matt preying there is no one behind me – he knows by the look on my face. Thankfully we weren’t far from our apartment and my Loui is big as I walked with it covering my butt the whole way home. Great start to the day that was.

That was the worst that happened on the trip but by the end of the week I was really feeling my UC kick in – I wasn’t watching what I was eating – burgers, hotdogs, fries, pizza – you name it I ate it – I’m not letting UC ruin my trip I’ll eat what I want! I was ratshit by the end. My poor tummy.

The flight home there was no isle seat left in economy and I had to upgrade to premium economy – not a bad thing I must admit. The way home I NEEDED that isle seat so I’m glad I made the upgrade– another red eye flight this time my stomach didn’t cope as well. I didn’t eat a thing on the 15 hour flight besides these weird vegan cookies they gave me – wasn’t worth making my tummy any worse. It was gurgling and what felt like a bubbling sensation the whole way home. I never noticed the toilet on a flight before I certainly did on this flight – every time I wanted to use one I guarantee it was lit up as red meaning it was taken. Knowing my UC kicks in super quick this makes me uneasy not having direct access but I coped.

Arriving home my stomach was unsettled for a couple days I just didn’t really eat to give it a bit of a rest, that and I have some mad jet lag (currently writing this at 5am) so don’t really have an appetite.

It seems to be settled now – traveling with UC is hard – there are so many things I never use to worry about and take for granted that almost run my life now. Is there a toilet? Is there a line? Does it flush? Is there toilet paper? Have I packed tissues just in case? Have I been to the toilet yet? (If no be prepped that’ll come while I’m out) Will this food make me sick? What can I eat? Maybe I just won’t eat? Will I be toilet-less and okay? (e.g on tours, long car rides) lots of different and new things but you know what I’m not letting it get me down, I still got to see a beautiful place with the love of my life and for that I’m super grateful.

Stay Strong & Stretch,
Tel X